Saturday, February 13, 2010

I am continually amazed at how much a lack of alone time affects me. I shouldn't be amazed. I shouldn't be surprised - I've been learning this about myself for the last several years. But it has hit me like a brick wall in the last 24 hours. When I don't have time to myself and my life becomes hurried, distracted and busy my mental state suffers. I am no longer peaceful, I turn into the irritable, scolding mom that I don't like being. I also turn into a negative, ungrateful human being.

Ugh. I don't like this about me. I wish I could go, go, go and keep going and still be fine. Clearly, I cannot.

This week was busier than normal. Not super busy. Really, compared to most of the world's busy, mine was pretty tame and relaxed. So I don't want to complain about being busy. I actually don't mind being busy. I just need some down time and alone time to refresh myself and this week I didn't get it for 3 days straight and not looking good for another 3 days. And lets add that to the natural stir-craziness that the January - March stretch brings. Its a cocktail for a not so good situation in my world:)

So today my mission is to find some positive energy and right this wrong ship. Perhaps after my swollen-from-crying eyes release their puffiness, I'll be able to see a little more clearly. There is hope:)


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