I have a very, very poor memory. Long-term, I guess. I'm not quite sure what the deal is, but I just don't remember details of situations - or movies or books. I don't remember much of my childhood - not that it was bad, but I just don't remember much of it. I don't remember much of high school - not that it was bad, but I just don't remember much of it. I'm beginning to realize that some of my memories of college are on their way out, too. This makes me a little upset, but I also understand and embrace the fact that I can't - and shouldn't - live in the past. It was what it was. It would be nice to revel in the joy of the good memories, but boy it would suck to wallow in the bad memories. So I guess this works pretty well for me:)
To a certain extent this is part of the reason why my posts here are so fricken long at times. Okay, okay, most of it is because I'm chatty, I like to talk and I like to write. But there is an element of wanting to capture everything about the moment - the feelings, the descriptions - so I can read it years from now and remember it, or at least try to remember how I felt when I wrote it or experienced it.
Recently it dawned on me that I will no longer have babies... I will never again have my own 18 month old and pretty soon I won't ever again have my own 2 year old. Maybe I'm getting sappy or mushy, but it occurred to me that there are some moments in life that I just never want to forget, but I'm sure I will. I adored Nora and Ryann as toddlers and they were so cute and fun and funny, however, I don't remember them as toddlers anymore. I barely remember Ryann before she started talking (maybe because she never shuts up now). I barely remember Nora as 4 years old. I think that sometimes I'm just trying so hard to get through the moment - the NOW - that I fail to pause and take it in. And Nora's moments and Ryann's moments are as fun and exciting now as Georgia's will be at the time simply because they'll be the "last time I experience this". So I am trying to be a bit more intentional about capturing photos of moments I don't want to forget - not just the exciting things we do like go to the zoo, or to grandma's, or this thing or that, but the everyday things that create such joy in my life. The everyday things that fill me from head to toe with a sense of peace and joy and wonder.
Here are a few recent photos that I took, just for this reason - not because my kids are so incredibly cute and I want to show them off, but because it was a moment that I never want to forget:
Ryann has a bed. She doesn't often fall asleep in it. Many nights we come upstairs to find her sleeping on the floor next to her bed, or sleeping in the threshold of her bedroom door. This night she fell asleep hugging her soccer trophy:
Every time I ask Nora what she likes most about school, her answer is "Riding the bus." Her bus comes around 12:25pm. We sit outside and wait for it together - just me and her (and sometimes the neighbor boys). Sometimes we listen to the ipod together, sometimes she just rides her bike while I watch. When we see the bus come around the corner a block down from our house, she stops whatever she's doing, grabs her backpack and RUNS to the sidewalk to wait until it stops in front of her. She patiently waits while the stop sign and the arm come out, the bus driver says, "You can cross." She crosses the street - never looking back - only looking forward.
Ever since reading a book about DW losing a tooth, Nora has wanted to lose a tooth. I think she willed this tooth to become loose by just wiggling it until it did. We spent several weeks checking how loose her tooth was. One day, she ran off of the bus and yelled, "I LOST MY TOOTH!" It was an exciting day for all! She got a little tooth box at school and put it under her pillow that night for the tooth fairy. Apparently the tooth fairy comes, waves her magic wand and turns the tooth into money (this is what she told daddy - who relayed it to me when I asked what I was supposed to do with the tooth - leave it there with the money or take it.) The tooth fairy magically turned her tooth into a golden dollar that night!