I treasure you
Kids long to feel special. We can create that feeling by being deliberate and repetative with our "I treasure you" message. It is not about quantifying the child by grades or abilities, but letting her know that she is special because she is - and reinforcing that message often. It is not about congratulations or shallow praise for a job well done, but a message of "If all the girls in the world lined up, I would choose you."
"The treasure message... communicates a high sense of worth - and children who feel worthy are more likely to respect the worth of other people."
Strategies for putting the I treasure you to use:
* Keep it simple. More explanation = less comprehension for a kid. Keep the message real, authentic, sincere and simple and offer it on an ongoing basis and the child will internalize it and believe it about herself.
* Time and Attention - these are time tested ways to fuss over a child without spoiling her. Giving her time - going to a dance recital, a ballgame, a preschool show - and attention - taking the opportunity to really celebrate her success - shows that you are paying attention to her life. An example that the book explains and that our family is going to adopt is the celebration candle.
* Making it Personal - creating personal, shared memories with her signals how much she is worth. Taking personal time with each kid also allows opportunities to say the words she needs to hear - or listen to the words she needs to speak.
Tuesday, March 03, 2009
I treasure you