Wednesday, January 06, 2010

Ms. Peek

Ms. Peek turns 8 today!

Last night as I was tucking her into bed she asked if I would tell her the story of the night she was born. I was hungry and tired and she was going to bed later than I wanted. I rolled my eyes and sat down to tell her the story. I wasn't really in the mood for sentimentality, but as I'm learning with my oldest, she IS sentimental and as I've always known she is pretty sensitive. I also suspected, though, that she was hoping I would cry like I did when I told Bugly the story of when she was sick. Twisted as it may sound, I think Ms. Peek wanted me to get that emotional about HER... sometimes its hard to be an older sister that isn't as snuggly and cute-because-she's-a-toddler.

I was in no mood, though, for tearful, weepy retelling of the days after she was born. Like I said, I was tired and hungry and just wanted to go downstairs. But I launched into the story. And because I didn't feel like welling up I included all of the dumb, non-emotional details... my water broke, it gushed, Daddy shoveled in his dinner while I was in the bathroom, it was snowing, the neighbors across the street agreed to care for the Woof, blah, blah, blah. As I continued I found I was enjoying remembering all of those details... moreso the ones after she was born - when they wheeled me into the NICU the next morning - the first time I saw her for more than 10 seconds - she was lying on her tummy with tubes and wires coming from all directios and was sucking her thumb. She was strong and healthy. We visited her as much as we could and fed her as many bottles as we could. I changed as many diapers as I could and told her many, many times that I was proud of her for being so strong.

I kind of got lost in it all and soon, yes, I was welling up. And then I was crying.

The moment I held her (that would be about 8 hours post delivery) I was consumed by a love that I never knew existed - how could I? I'd never been a parent before. I've never held MY child before. That moment, my tiny 4lb 14oz daughter taught me love and I have never been the same. My heart has been exploding ever since that moment in time.

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