Sleepless Nights

I have problems falling asleep if I wake up in the middle of the night and move around too much. If I get up to go to the bathroom, I'm okay, but if I move much more than that, I'm dead meat. I can feel my heart moving faster and I just lay in bed and get angry because I'm not sleeping.

Fortunately, I have a wonderful husband who understands this and loves me. He is also a complete zombie in the middle of the night if he has to get up. He moves, but he's not fully there. AND he is able to fall asleep within 30 seconds - anytime, anywhere (he fell asleep at a red light once while we were all in the car).

Since he is all of the above, he gets up with the girls if they ever wake up in the night (after they're done nursing). We started this arrangement when Woof was a puppy... he would need to go potty in the middle of the night, which required walking downstairs and letting him out, waiting to let him back in and walking back up the stairs. Needless to say all of the stair climbing would get my heart going too fast and I would be done for the rest of the night. That is when Cornbread stepped in and took over middle of the night duties.

If one of the girls is sick (like puking sick) over night, though, it requires two parents - one to clean the child, the other to change the sheets. Sunday night Georgia was the puker - but she was up every 20 - 30 minutes so I wouldn't have had a chance to fall asleep anyway. Last night, Nora was the puker - and she was only sick once, but it definitely required a sheet change. 2:45am - I'm changing sheets. 4:45am I'm still awake and really ticked off.

I thought about blogging about it last night, but the post would have been less than appropriate... maybe a little something like this:

Have you ever noticed that the worst words in our language are the ones that feel the best to say? Why are curse words the words that FEEL good coming off of our lips - like just saying one relieves some amount of tension? You know the softness of the Shhhh and the harsh ending of T! The same with the ease of Fffffff and the abrupt end of CK! And then if you add a "in' A" on the end of that one somehow it feels even better than before. And what about the way the aaaaaa and the sssssss sound when you're being sarcastic and call someone one of those - it just feels good.

I used to have a bad potty mouth, but after a couple of people pointed it out to me, I cleaned it up (pre-kids). Cornbread and I have our moments when these words fly out of our mouths (one of Cornbread's was last night when he saw the sheets... hence the thoughts in my mind).

Anyway, I don't know how to make the sleeping issue any better. One time my dad told me to count - and I would never get to 1000. But then I started counting and I got to about 500 and I got really ticked because I knew I was going to make it to 1000. So what to do? I'm just happy that Cornbread doesn't mind the elbow in the middle of the night.

QOTD: What do you do to fall asleep when you're having trouble?

Just look at this face

Could someone please tell me how this little person:

can make me feel bi-polar? Seriously.

Saturday morning, this person brought me to tears because I was so frustrated and angry with her... She very much enjoys pushing the kitchen chairs to the counter to see what she can get into up there. She is fully aware that she is not supposed to do this, however, it is great fun so she does it anyway despite any consequences that may be imposed. Saturday morning was no different. I was making my phone calls and she was pushing chairs. I was saying "NO!" in a very loud, stern voice and hoping - really hard - that no one would answer the phone at the exact moment that I was saying No in that voice:) She kept pushing. Kept testing those boundaries.

Meanwhile, her two sisters were fighting in the family room and I sent them to their room. For 5 minutes I hear the fighting and screaming continue up there. Finally, I put the phone down and go up there to talk to them. When I got back downstairs, guess what Miss Naughty was doing? Yup - chair to counter. However, this time it wasn't just apples or pens that she was into - she had poured shampoo all over the counter, the chair, herself, the apples, and the floor. I calmly told her to get down and I cleaned it up. I walked to the laundry room to throw the towel in the wash and said, "Georgia, if you climb back on that chair you are going to get punished." And Miss Naughty, never really caring about what mom says, climbed right back up there to get back to the shampoo.

At that point, I'm not sure if I was as frustrated with her as I was with myself - for not bringing the shampoo upstairs, for not putting the chair back under the table right away, for any number of things that I should have done differently to change the situation - but then again, would it really have changed? Probably not. I lost it.

I can't keep up with them all. If I'm dealing with or taking care of one, the other two are doing something they shouldn't, if I take care of two, the leftover one is creating a disaster. I can't keep up. So crying seemed like the best option at that point. Luckily, Cornbread walked in at that exact moment, heard what happened and sent me on my merry way to paint his office - get out of the house and leave them to him. I love that man.

Yet this is also the little girl who was puking for 4 hours over night on Sunday and every time I walked in to clean up the bed, I honestly thought about how cute and adorable she was - even while she was covered in vomit and causing me to miss an entire night of sleep.

This child smiles like in these pictures and suddenly I feel a smile involuntarily burst onto my face and I feel lighter, happier, calmer. She sneaks up from behind and gives me a big baby bear hug and giggles and my life is good. EVERY time I tell her to "walk on your feet, not on your toes" she stops, bends down and touches her toes - how cute is that? And how much does it make me giggle?

God makes them uncontrollably adorable at this age - he had to, otherwise our population would dwindle from moms either leaving their babies on the highway in the hopes that somone would take pity and take them home OR from moms starting the car in the garage in a desperate attempt to escape for just a little while.

Apparently its too much to ask...

to have ONE place where I can put stuff and little hands won't get into it somehow.

Its all in the name

Some people go through a lot of thought and research in order to find a name for their new baby. Is the name popular? Does it have a precious meaning to go along with a precious new baby? Is it a name that is linked to my ethnic heritage (mine would be dutch)? Can we find a name that would be a "family" name?

In our family, pregnancy is not a fun 9 months (or 7 1/2...) - Cornbread says I turn into a different person (one that he doesn't like as much as my lovely normal self), he also gets wigged out by the thought of a baby being in my stomach. He thinks it is kind of creepy - almost like an alien in there trying to kick its way out. Nice, eh? So there are no stories being read to the baby by daddy. Daddy doesn't talk to the baby. Daddy doesn't try to feel the baby move. Daddy doesn't acknowledge baby unless he's forced to. In each of the three pregnancies, if you had gone by watching and listening to him, you would barely know that his wife was pregnant.

So choosing a name is a chore. Of course, being the mom and thinking of everything, I thought that choosing a name was an important aspect of having a child. He, on the other hand, thought it was a hassle and didn't want to deal with it. We argued. We disagreed. He famously told me that I didn't choose "real" names, but instead just put syllables together and called it a "name" (that was in response to me suggesting Ava when I was pregnant with Ryann).

Ultimately, though, we settled on names that we both loved and are very happy with.

Nora was named through a multiple choice list. My parents named me and my sister CarA & JanA because my dad didn't want our names shortened to anything with an "eeee" sound at the end (ala susIE, KatIE, ShellY). Can't shorten our names. I thought it would be nice to carry on that tradition. After thinking long and hard about names I gave Cornbread a list:
A) Mona
B) Nola
C) Nora

He could choose. I liked them all, but I liked Mona and Nola best. He chose Nora. We were happy. Then chose Grace as a middle name because it just sounded good.

Her boy name, by the way, was Joshua something. Not even sure how we picked that.

Ryann was named via a tabloid magazine. We had gone 'round and 'round through lists of names. I was trying to stick with the theme of A on the end and an older, classic name that would not be popular. Ava. Audra. Lena. No. No. No.

As we were driving to Michigan one weekend, I was reading a silly entertainment magazine. It had a story about Christian Slater in it and his girlfriend's name is Ryan Haddon (I think). I threw the name, Ryan, out there in a snotty tone of voice: "Well, we could name a girl Ryan". Cornbread, astonishingly, LOVED it. LOVED it - I mean he just went nuts over it. While I was in labor with her, I asked him if we should change our girls name - I was very nervous about naming her a boys name even with the additional N. He refused to discuss it. Ryann was it. And she really is a Ryann.

My dad called her "the baby girl with a boys name" for a long time. My MIL told people about her grandaughters and always included "... and Ryann (she's a girl)". My Gram told people that her grandaughter had another baby, "Ryann JOY" with emphasis on the joy so people woudl realize she was a GIRL. Many family members had to get used to the idea, but now no one even questions it.

We added Joy as a middle name because I wanted her initials to be RJ.

Her boy name was Jackson Davis - chosen because I love the name Jack (and Jackson) and I wanted the initials JD because I wanted to call our son JD.

Georgia was named via a cast off from a friend;) Before I even got pregnant with Georgia I had fallen in love with the name (after hearing it was on the list for Jen's Greta). When I got pregnant, I didn't say anything because I didn't want to discuss names with Cornbread due to the frustration of the previous pregnancy - I was going to wait this one out.

I was out on a "date" with PD after an appointment and she had found out she was a having a girl. She told me she was going to name her Georgia after a grandpa and call her Georgie. I about had a heart attack. Not only were we due 2 days apart, going to the same OB, going to all of our appointments together, but great minds thought exactly alike! But alas, Georgia was off of our list.

So back to the list. Ava came up again. Cornbread resigned to it. I think he was sick of the argument. When I suggested it his response was, "Fine." To which I was kind of heartbroken - I didn't want to have a child who had a name that we could "settle on" - I wanted a special name for this one, too. Third children really get all the leftovers, right? But we were stuck on Ava because neither of us wanted to discuss it any further.

The night of our glucose test, PD & I were waiting our turns in the hospital lobby and she said she had something important to talk about. She said that her husband hated the name Georgia, he had only agreed to it to keep her quiet. He refused to use that name. So could she have Ava and I could have Georgia if I had a girl?

Um, yes, I think we could make that happen.

Georgia's middle name is Nicole because it was the only name we could add that wouldn't make her whole name sound southern. Cornbread wanted Noelle, but we agreed to Nicole.

And since we are done having children, I will tell you the greatest boys name ever: Victor. Georgia's boys name was Victor Alan, Victor Douglas, Walter Alan or Walter Douglas (we hadn't decided yet).

How did you name your kids?

Apparently its too much to ask...

to be 31 years old and acne free.

Is it just me?

This ALWAYS happens to me:

"I have 10 minutes. I'll just sit down and check a few things on the computer. Then I have to fold the laundry, curl my hair, do the girls' hair, get lunch ready."

45 minutes later I only have time to get lunch ready and hopefully do the girls' hair.

What is my problem???

When it rains it pours

And at my house right now, it is raining tomatos.

Seriously.

Last night I braved the mosquitos (holy crap there are a lot of them) and picked some more ripe tomatos. I came in with 3 cups of cherry/grape and about 20 sandwich sized tomatos - two days after I had picked the same amount on Monday!

Because I'm a good neighbor and friend - and because I don't want them to all rot at my house - I have become the tomato fairy, dropping by unexpectedly to my next door neighbor's house to beg her to take some off of my handsShe is a good friend and always takes half. (Or sometimes (read: most of the time) I'm a really good friend and I just leave them on her patio table without telling her so she can't refuse).


But good glory, I've been eating tomatos for breakfast, lunch, dinner and snacks and I still have a plethora.

Unfortunately my plans to become salsa have not come to fruition because said crop has completely taken over any and all pepper plants. I have gotten a couple of peppers, but not as many as I had hoped after planting 8 plants. Stupid tomatos:)

Over the weekend we will be working hard to construct a roadside stand. I know what you're thinking - Its all about location, right? And my location would not be good for a roadside vegetable stand. I know - you're right... so come to my house and get some for free then already. Please - I love the color red, but I'm turning into a tomato and thats just not working for me.

2 (gone) + 1 (in bed) = 1 breathing mom

Ryann started school yesterday. She goes to preschool in the afternoon.

Everyday.

For Free.

Yes, for free - how awesome is that? Apparently the state believes she is "at risk" because we have 3 children under the age of 5 and has decided to pick up the tab for her preschool education - 2 full years of 5 day/week preschool. Um, hello? Thank you:)

And its not just exciting because its free, but because she is so ready for some preschool. She could be considered "at risk" because at the time that she would have soaked up all of the fun things like letters, colors, shapes, numbers, counting, etc. etc. I was dealing with a newborn, a preschooler and her - speech therapy included. I think she knows all of those things - I know she knows her colors and shapes, but knowledge of letters may be lacking... but then again it might not be, you just never know with her.

Mother-guilt really sucks. You know what it is: "I should have been able to nurse a new baby, take care of everyone, deal with my husband's new career and our financial situation AND give Ryann all of the undivided attention that her sister received at that age. I should have been able to sit down and teach her the letters and their sounds." Sigh.

But alas, Governor Blagojevich has bailed me out on this one.

So off she went yesterday to her first day of school. And she was as proud as she could possibly be to finally get to do something like a big girl - and all by herself. Mmmm. I just love her:)

And the other exciting piece of news: I drop Ryann off at noon, come home, put Georgia to bed and Nora gets on the bus at 12:30. I wake Georgia up at 2:45, pick Ryann up at 3 and Nora comes home at 3:40. Yes, that means that I get at least 2 full hours of Jana time. After feeling smothered for the last few weeks of summer, this is a really good thing.

Rod Blagojevich, you may just be my hero by the end of the year:)

P.S. You may just see me blogging a little more often now...