Thursday, September 14, 2006

I'm often overwhelmed at the amount of responsibility I have

I'm 30 years old. 30. Thats really not very old. And when I think about the amount of responsibility I have, I want to cry. Thats why I don't think about it very often and I just go on with life and do things one day at a time.

I'm not going to make a list of my responsibilities - you all have them, too - but I will say that the only things I'm NOT responsible for are the cars, the lawn, feeding the dog and giving him his pills, and the investing. I do everything else. I take care of everything and everyone else. Dave helps me a lot - especially if I ask, but for the most part I am fully responsible for everything else.

Like I said, I don't think about it too much. I can't, because I might just never get out of bed. I go about my day doing my duties, taking care of the girls, the house, and everything that goes along with it like its not a big deal. And when you think of it like that - it isn't really a big deal.

You know what really overwhelms me though? To think that I'm responsible for the health and well-being of 3 other little people. If I really think about it, that seems incredibly daunting. THAT is what overwhelms me. I am fully responsible, at this point, for their health and nutrition, their basic needs and their major needs.

Parenting and caring for the girls could be very easy. Let them eat what they want when they want. Let them watch as much tv and whatever tv they want. Let them go to bed when they want - or not at all. Let them do whatever they want. Never say No.

But it isn't that simple. I COULD do that, but it would not be in the best ineterest of Nora, Ryann and Georgia and our family as a whole.

Its hard work trying to raise 3 little girls with healthy self-esteems, modesty, and good character. Its hard to figure out what to feed them everyday for 3 meals a day that incorporates all of the food groups and not too much sugar. Its hard to teach them that vegetables are good. Its hard to know when to bring them to the doctor and when to let symptoms run their course. Its hard to remember to give them every dose of their antibiotics.

Its hard. And its overwhelming.

But I love my responsibilities. I love my life and what I do. I don't love the bills that come with it and the lack of funds at the moment, but I love thinking about the future and what we hope to provide for our girls when we're able. I love taking care of them and I love being home with them and being the one responsible for them. I love it that we're able to somehow live on one income so I can be home with them and see every little thing they do, give them their medicine, and tell Dave stories about them while we're in bed at night. I love them.

And sometimes I spend too much time on the computer because I'm feeling overwhelmed;)

QOTD:
What do you do to escape when you're feeling overwhelmed by life?

getting to know me in 100 days - day 14

9 comments:

Amanda 1:44 PM  

Read your blog. :) No, really, I just try to get away for a while. If I can't physically leave the house, I read a book or take a long, hot bath. If I can leave the house, I have dinner with a friend or go browse some stores. Jared's awesome about letting me have 'me' time...even if it means he doesn't get his own time (which guys don't seem to need nearly as much as we do...am I wrong?)

Heaven Sent 2:12 PM  

Such an accurate post. It IS overwhelming. I'm still trying to not freak out over wanting to do everything perfectly for Emma. When she was first born, I tried to treat her like a job, which she quickly taught me was wrong. I can't "succeed" with her because she's an ongoing responsibility whose needs change on a daily basis. I can't refer back to my job description because, hey, I'm still writing it and always will be.

You are right, as hard and emotionally exhausting as it all is, it is perhaps the best gift God could give one person. I sacrafice my life for Emma's because it is natural, fulfilling, and just plain right. I see moms drag their kids around everywhere with them, not caring about naps and food and one-on-one time, and I get so sad. This is such a short window of time..I try to enjoy every second and just ignore the nagging sense of worry.

But to answer your question, when I'm having one of those days, I turn to everything that is selfish and indulgent: Starbucks, chocolate, shopping (although not usually purchasing), working out/dancing and if it's REALLY bad...a pedicure!

And then, of course, I instantly feel guilty and miss Emma like crazy. ;)

Missy 2:58 PM  

What do I do..... I run away. I go get a cup of coffee or just go for a drive (with my phone of course) I read, I watch TV, I pray, I sit on the computer, I pray, I cry, oh how wonderful to have a good cry. There is much I do but for the most part I love my 'job'. I love that I can run our household and somehow manage to mesh the differences in all of us.
If you figure out the food groups thing let me know! LOL. I'm sure my kids think the groups are Frozen pizza, grilled cheese sandwiches, happy meals and peanut butter and jelly! ha ha

Missy 3:00 PM  

oh and I almost forgot, I think you do a great 'job' with your girls! They have a great mom.

one hot momma 6:36 PM  

I write or take pictures...

kkoois 10:31 PM  

i drink

Doni Brinkman 1:02 AM  

I get very non productive I think. Am in that boat right now and I hate it. Very frustrating. Doesn't it seem like you have to have energy to get energy? Sigh.

Melissa :) 9:50 AM  

"I drink"

LOLOLOL!!

Jen 5:07 PM  

I'm with Kim. Drinking good. I love to go out for lunch or dinner with a few good friends without my little girls. I could sit over a good meal and some wine for hours.

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